Friendship in the Gospel

 

 

 

Readers here might recall that in last week's post ("Valuing What's Important") I laid out what I believe are the "core values" of our house church. One of those was: 

 

Friendship – By this we don't necessarily mean spiritual instruction, or communal worship, or accountability (important as these are), but simply appreciating and enjoying one another's company in the context of Christian brotherhood. 

 

I want to elaborate a bit on this. Note first that I refer to friendship here, not fellowship. I'm all for fellowship, but sadly this suggests to some people that the occasion must be "spiritual," that is, formal, somber and reverential. So I will stick with "friendship" to make a point.

 

As believers walking in the life of God and the power of the Holy Spirit we are no longer in bondage to sin. That means we are spiritually free, or at least we should be. I mention this in the context of friendship because too many of my sincere and well-meaning brothers and sisters act as if they believe I am not spiritually free, or at least I shouldn't be. Far too often what I think is going to be a time of joy and fellowship with a brother in Christ becomes instead a time of ongoing investigation into, and correction of, my spiritual life.

 

Now I understand the necessity of accountability. There are times when I may need an intervention, just like there are times when I may need to intervene. If I see my brother in Christ is starting to drink heavily, or mope around for weeks in unbelief, or flirt with women other than his wife, it's my responsibility as a brother to come alongside and try to bring spiritual clarity and encourage repentance. But often I find myself trying to fellowship with sincere and well-meaning fellow believers who find a cause for intervention in almost everything I do or say. Again I am convinced these believers mean well. Unfortunately they have greatly underestimated the Holy Spirit, who generally can be relied upon to convict me when I begin to go astray. (If and when I begin to show clear signs of ongoing sin or unbelief – i.e., resisting the Holy Spirit – at that point I would hope someone would have the courage and honesty to tell me.) 

 

A friend, after all, is first and foremost one who accepts me as I am. If that's true then people who refuse to give me the benefit of a doubt and make a point to call attention to every apparent shortcoming in my life, no matter how trivial or temporary, are not acting as friends. They either don't have enough problems of their own (which I doubt), or, more likely, they simply don't trust that God is faithful to transform and keep me without their continual nagging and prodding.

 

Jesus said to his disciples, "I call you friends" (John 15:15). Are we to believe that Jesus called these men his friends only after they had arrived at a place of sufficient spiritual purity and maturity? Of course not. In fact he encouraged his friends with these words knowing that just a few hours later they would all deny and betray him. Jesus knew these men had a long way to go, but he also knew that in time, by his grace, he would get them there. As a friend he simply chose not to pick them apart for all their sins and failures in the meantime. 

 

But that's enough about what friendship is not. I want to take a moment to rejoice in what it is. Genuine fellowship in the love of God goes beyond mere accountability; it's one of the greatest pleasures this life has to offer. Indeed there are few things I enjoy more than meeting with brothers in the name of Jesus, whether during a Bible study, gathering around a meal, or kicking back, laughing, and devouring bags of chips while watching a football game. Fellowship like that brings joy to the heart and strength to the bones. "Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!" (Psalm 133:1).